


Affair to the heart

by boleyn13



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Humor, Loki is Not Amused, Loki is a great boyfriend, M/M, Magic, Never mess with Loki's boyfriend, Protectiveness, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-23
Updated: 2017-03-23
Packaged: 2018-10-09 15:26:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10415196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boleyn13/pseuds/boleyn13
Summary: “How sweet, Loki got himself a boyfriend. Even better now we’ve got…”“You don’t understand, agent Barton.” Thor’s shock and amazement had quickly turned into horror. “That necklace means Loki is in love. You won’t like him when he is in love."





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everybody,
> 
> This came to me as a very short idea. Thor telling the Avengers that an angry Loki is nothing compared to a Loki in love. You don't want to mess with him when he's in love ;)
> 
> Have fun :)

“Team A in position.”

“Team B in position.”

“Guys, he is watching Westworld. We should go in there right now, I haven’t seen this episode yet and I don’t want to get spoiled.”

“Tony, for god’s sake!”

“Yeah, yeah… Iron Man is in position on the roof of the opposite house, looking right through the target’s window and has to watch the next episode of Westworld without sound. You’re happy now, Cap?”

No, Steve wasn’t happy and he wasn’t going to be happy until they were done with this mission. SHIELD had been surveilling their target for over a week now. They knew he was in there alone and hopefully not suspecting anything.

“Tony, we need his exact location in the apartment.”

A sigh resounded across the coms and Steve tried not to immediately scold Tony for being unprofessional in such an important moment.

“Cap, I told you he is watching Westworld… he is sitting on the couch. Where else would he be? Oh great, there is the man in black… if my fan theory is getting destroyed right now I’ll blame you.”

“Stark, will you just shut up? We get it, when you get home you want to watch some HBO. Can we finally go in and get this asshole?”

Granted, this was more sigh-worthy than Tony’s complaints about TV spoilers that were already on the internet anyway. “Clint, we still don’t know if he isn’t controlled in some kind of way.”

“Last time I checked Loki didn’t have his stupid stick anymore.”

It was still hard for Steve to believe that any person, a human being would support Loki in any kind of way. And yet they were here.

“Tony? A little more detail? If you are sure that it’s not a set-up we are ready to go in.” Steve whispered into the coms and Tony was surprisingly quick to answer. “He is wearing sweatpants, has his feet on the couch table and a bowl of nachos in his lap. I’m pretty sure that he isn’t planning on taking over the world in the next 30 minutes.”

Okay, that had to be enough. Steve glanced at Natasha next to him who nodded determinedly. Here goes nothing. “All teams, we going inside. Go!”

Pushing himself off the wall Steve kicked the door in with his right foot and Natasha was just one step behind him when they entered the apartment. There was the sound of glass shattering and a TV running.

“What the…”

Their target was jumping up from the couch, stumbling a little bit and Steve didn’t think that he looked like a typical terrorist. Taken aback, probably afraid. Who wouldn’t be when the Avengers stormed your apartment? Half of them coming in through the windows. Tony and Thor had their weapons ready, but nobody was approaching him. He didn’t look armed.

Steve was almost feeling bad about this. “Mr. Bailey, you are arrested on suspicion of terrorism offences.”

“What?” Bailey’s eyes grew up and in that very moment he didn’t look afraid but offended. “Are you serious? The Avengers burst into my apartment, destroy my fucking windows and… Terrorism? Sod the fuck off!”

“Charming. Just as British as Loki.” Despite not seeing Tony’s face Steve was sure that he was rolling his eyes.

“Mr. Bailey, we have proof that you are in contact with a wanted terrorist. You will have to come with us, you can call a lawyer if you want to.”

“You can bet your stars spangled ass that I will call my lawyer!”

So much about a professional arrest, Tony was almost doubling over he was laughing so hard.

 ***

“He doesn’t deserve a fucking lawyer. He’s Loki’s accomplice…” Clint was grumbling under his breath while staring through the one-way-mirror.

Bailey was sitting at the table, looking calm like a drop of water and a bit ridiculous. Still in his grey sweatpants and a dark blue shirt. His hair was tousled and he indeed looked like a person who had planned to spend an evening on his couch… not in an interrogation room.

“I may not be an expert, but he does not look very threatening to me.” Thor pointed out and Tony was tempted to agree. On the other hand… “You never know what Loki could use him for… Just look at that face… All perfectly symmetric and those big grey eyes. He looks like he just jumped out of fashion magazine… A pretty boy he could use as a straw man to gain trust or access…”

Natasha shook her head. “Loki is a shape-shifter. He could do that himself.”

“Well, fuck my theory then.” Tony sighed, looking at Bailey who was still talking to his lawyer. “God, that guy is hot. Kinda looks like me, doesn’t he?”

Why was Natasha suddenly snickering?

“Can we finally talk to him?” Clint was getting impatient and Steve put a hand on his shoulder. “You’re not going to talk to him anyway. You’re taking this personally.”

“When an actual human being is doing business with Loki, every other human being on the planet should take that personally.” Clint snarled and Tony could see it in Steve’s face that he partially agreed.

It took another 15 minutes until the lawyer let Steve inside and Tony, of course. He wouldn’t miss this for the world. The rest of them would listen from the other side of the mirror.

“Mr. Bailey, we want to talk about a friend of you. Loki Laufeyson.”

“Never heard that name before.”

Even the lawyer pulled a face at that, because the entire world knew who Loki was.

“Oh, well. Then it’s not you in all that photographs with him that SHIELD agents took. Sorry, misunderstanding. Cap, I told you that it was clearly Elvis in that picture.” Tony dropped a pile of photographs on the table and Bailey barely leaned forward to get a better look at them.

Denying wasn’t possible. The photographs clearly showed Bailey and Loki sitting at a table in a café. Loki handing a Bailey a white envelope. “So I was having coffee with a friend. Nothing illegal about that.”

The lawyer was clearly having a heart attack that very moment. “Jacob, you don’t answer any questions.”

“Shut up, I only called you because I wanted to annoy them.”

Damn, Tony was starting to like that guy… Too bad he was associated with Loki.

“Actual, that meeting was illegal. Loki is a wanted terrorist. You are in contact with him, you were obligated to immediately call the authorities.” Steve was talking very slowly, but that did nothing to impress Bailey who merely shrugged.

Okay, this was getting nowhere. You couldn’t trust Cap with an interrogation.

“Listen, we don’t know each other and everybody has their own beliefs. Maybe you think that the entire world should be dominated by a weird alien god. Not my cup of tea, but it could be yours. We could let you off the hook if you tell us what he is planning and what he wants you to do. Believe us, Loki doesn’t play nice with others. He’ll let you do some dirty work and then he impales you on a sharp object.”

Perhaps Tony wasn’t doing so well either, because Bailey actually started snickering for some reason.

“What is so funny?”

“Everything about this. Currently I’m thinking about who I’m going to sue for the damage that you’ve done to my windows. Probably you, Mr. Stark. Seems logical.”

No, Tony didn’t like that guy. At all.

Steve obviously decided to play the good cop. “Mr. Bailey… we know that Loki is reckless and dangerous. We can protect you if he is threatening you in any kind of way.”

Bailey blinked, seemingly confused. “Why would I be in danger?”

“Because Loki likes to kill people, duh.”

“Tony.” Steve hissed at him before turning back to Bailey. “You are a neurosurgeon, isn’t that right?”

“Yes.”

“That’s a fascinating job. You’re saving lives every day.”

Crossing his arms in front of his chest Bailey shrugged again. “I’m working in a lab most of the time. I’m a researcher. I rarely drill holes into skulls.”

“Nevertheless you’re doing research on the human brain. That’s fascinating.”

Where was this going? Was Steve trying to flatter and to sweet-talk him?

“It is. It’s the most fascinating organ in the human body. It makes us who we are. Defines our personality, our desires and quirks. People are always talking about the human heart when they are talking about emotions. The heart is nothing more than the engine that keeps our body doing. Everything that matters is up here. Love, hate, lust, desire, fear, anger… it’s all in our brain.”

While talking about his field Bailey didn’t seem like an annoying brat, but Tony didn’t see how this was helping them. “Loki might also think that the human brain is fascinating. Is he interested in your research? He has a history of mind control. Is he looking for a way to control people? Is it that what he needs you for?”

Ahh, good boy, Steve. That conclusion deserved a gold star.

Finally Bailey showed some discomfort and stopped acting like he was completely above the situation. Absently his fingers started to play with the necklace he was wearing. “I know you are not an expert, Captain Rogers, so I will forgive you the mistake. I am searching for ways for quicker and more effective ways to operate on the human brain. Not some hocus-pocus…”

“Loki is pretty good with hocus-pocus… Look, doc, we’re trying to help you. We know Loki, we know his tricks. Whatever he’s got on you or whatever he’s threatening you with… We can help you, because seriously, we kick his ass all the time.” Tony winked at him and Bailey suddenly narrowed his eyes in response. “I am not doing business with Loki.”

Their interrogation continued for a couple of minutes, but Bailey shut up completely, only glaring at them while tugging on his necklace. Right and he told his lawyer to fuck off.

Closing the door to the room behind him Steve sighed. “He is not saying a word and I am sure that Loki is planning something…”

“Let me talk to him.” Natasha made a step forward and Tony was already feeling sorry for the doctor. The widow was going to rip him a new one.

Steve definitely thought the same thing and didn’t seem comfortable with it. “For all we know he could still be an innocent person…”

“Innocent my ass.” Clint groaned in annoyance. “Look at him. An overpaid doctor who works in research. Full of ambition and wanting to play god. I say Steve is on to something. Loki is looking for new ways how to control people and pretty boy inside there wants to find out if he can do it.”

“That’s just an assumption. All we know is that he is in contact with Loki…”

“Geez, Cap… what other reason is there? Loki isn’t the most social person.” Clint rolled his eyes and Tony was tempted to disagree with him. “Well, I would know a few other reasons why I would spend time with him…”

Natasha responded by smacking him and Steve pretended that he didn’t get it. Or he really didn’t get it. Sometimes it was hard to tell. “Thor… any chance that Loki is just trying to make a friend?”

Loki’s brother was leaning against the one-way mirror, closely watching Bailey. “I doubt it. Agent Barton is right, my brother isn’t… Wait…”

Thor was trailing off, suddenly straightening up, now staring at the doctor in the interrogation room. Tony was cocking his head to see what Thor had noticed, but there wasn’t much of a difference. Bailey was still playing with his necklace. A moment ago the pendant had been hidden beneath his shirt, all that tagging must have pulled it free. A large green stone. An emerald maybe?

“By the Nornes…”

“Thor? What’s up, pal? You’re suddenly so pale. You’ve seen a ghost?”

Spinning around Thor stared at them with wide eyes, gaping like a fish. Yeah, that couldn’t be a good sign. “We have to let him go immediately.”

“What? Why? No way. That guy clearly has…”

Thor didn’t care for what Clint had to say. “Send him home, apologize to him… somebody has to pay for the windows and instantly repair them.”

“What?! Are you crazy? He’s obviously in on some deal with…”

“The doctor is not part of one of Loki’s schemes. He is his paramour.”

A single word that was enough to make them all fall silent. It was horribly out-dated and sounded awkward. Thor had to be kidding right? Was he really trying to tell them that Loki had scored with pretty boy in there?

Natasha was the first one to regain her composure. “What makes you think that?”

“The necklace. It’s a token of affection. Only given to a person that you care deeply for… It’s a vow, a promise to love and protect…” Thor seemed to be amazed by his own words… or by the fact that Loki would actually give this necklace to somebody.

“How sweet, Loki got himself a boyfriend. Even better now we’ve got…”

“You don’t understand, agent Barton.” Thor’s shock and amazement had quickly turned into horror. “That necklace means Loki is in love. You won’t like him when he is in love. He’ll want to protect Bailey…”

“Oh come on, Stark’s right. We’ve been kicking Loki’s ass for months now. What he is possibly going to do that…”

“Oh no.”

Thor was staring again, so everybody turned around and the one-way mirror revealed that Loki still hadn’t stopped that annoying habit of teleportation. Bailey was startled for a moment, then his face lit up like a Christmas tree before he got up and pretty much jumped their favourite villain. “Loki!”

Tony felt his jaw dropping to the floor. This could not be real. Loki wasn’t in their interrogation room, passionately kissing a neurosurgeon who was so utterly and completely human. Okay, that was… disturbing and kind of hot.

“Did they hurt you?” Loki’s hand was brushing over Bailey’s hair and Tony swore that he saw Clint’s eyes popping out of his head. “

“No… They were annoying, stormed into my apartment. My windows are ruined…” Bailey was pouting and Tony suddenly wondered what kind of sex the two of them were having.

Loki’s face darkened and Thor burst right through the door. “Brother, I swear that none of us…”

Before Thor could finish Loki let out a sizzling noise and pulled Bailey against himself. The next second they were gone and Thor helplessly dropped his hands. “My friends… I fear we are in deep trouble.”

 ***

Seriously, what was Loki supposed to do? So they had annoyed his boyfriend a little bit. So what? Tony was rather surprised that he had a boyfriend and such a pretty one. It happened rarely but at the moment Tony agreed with Clint. They kicked Loki’s ass all the time, what was he going to do now for Thor to freak out?

The big blond was even talking about fleeing to another dimension. Tony was having a good laugh about that.

He was still laughing about it while flying back home.

Only that Tony didn’t get home, because home was gone.

“What the fuck?! Jarvis?!”

“I have no explanation for this either, sir.”

“Why didn’t you warn me that my entire tower has disappeared?!”

“Since I’m still fully functional it still has to be intact… somewhere. I am sorry, sir. I don’t seem to have an explanation.”

Landing on the huge empty spot where his tower had once been Tony looked around and was tempted to raise his fists towards the sky and scream Loki’s name.

Two broken windows against an entire tower? This was way out of proportion.

Nobody had ever done something worse to anyone.

Half an hour later Tony back at SHIELD headquarters, slamming the door shut behind him. “You guys won’t believe what Loki did to me! I’m going to rip him and his little boyfriend a new one! My tower… my toys… my TV! I was going to watch Westworld tonight…. Why is there a frog on the table?”

“That’s Thor. You idiot.” Clint was gritting his teeth and maybe Tony had been exaggerating a little bit.

“Uhm… you’ve noticed something a little different about him too, right?”

Clint groaned in exasperation. “Sometimes I hate you so much that I want to smack your skull against a wall. When I’m not jealous of you and secretly want to be more like you.”

Tony gaped and Clint jerkily covered his mouth with his hands, his face turning crimson red.

“Guys, we have to find a solution how we…”

“Shut up, Cap. I’m still trying to process what Legolas just told me. What was that about being jealous of my complete awesomeness? What else do you think about me?” Leaning forward Tony closely inspected Clint who was now blushing even harder. Or was it the rage that let his face turn red. “I think you’re disturbingly smart and sometimes I feel stupid while talking to you.”

“Okay…” Taking one step back Tony looked at everybody, including the frog, but at Clint. “This is terrifying. What happened to him?”

“Loki cursed me to only tell the truth.”

“Right, forget what I just said. That might be disturbing, but it’s also completely amazing. Clint, on a scale of one to ten – how stupid do you feel while talking to me?”

“8. I hate you so much right now, Stark.”

“I’m loving this.”

“Tony!” Steve was whispering but his tone was rather harsh, for some reason he wasn’t thinking that this was funny. Humourless idiot. “This is a serious situation. We need to…” Obviously Steve wasn’t too concerned. His words were turning into a yawn. “… figure out…”

Propping his head up in his hands Steve closed his eyes and Tony raised an eyebrow. “Cap? You’re feeling tired? Cap!”

“He is asleep.” Clint pointed out the obvious and Tony rolled his eyes. This truth thing was already starting to get annoying. “No shit, Sherlock.”

Stalking over to the table Tony grabbed Steve’s shoulder and shook him roughly. “Cap, wake up!”

A jolt went through Steve’s body and he sat up straight. “What? Tony?”

“You alright? You fell asleep mid-sentence?”

Rubbing his eyes Steve nodded. “Yeah… I’m just so…” Another yawn. “… tired.”

Oh great. Wonderful. Steve was already closing his eyes again and Tony turned to Natasha. “And? What present did he give you?”

Her stone-cold face could really make a man’s blood run cold. Instead of saying something Natasha merely raised her hands. Two left ones.

“Eww, that’s creepy! Put them down!”

“You are such an asshole, Stark.” Clint grumbled and Tony span around. “Hey, that’s a personal opinion, not the truth.”

“If I am able to say it, it’s the truth.”

“Clint, close your mouth! Steve, wake up! Thor, stop croaking!”

Only Clint did as he was told. Steve continued to sleep with his head on the table top, the frog was still croaking.

“Why didn’t Loki do anything to you?” Natasha was giving Tony her best bitch-face and that just wasn’t fair. “Excuse me? My entire tower is gone! I’m homeless!”

“You have houses all over this country.”

“And you’re jealous of that too, right?”

“You bet I am… I will make you regret this.”

Tony shrugged it off, looking around the room. What an impressive bunch of people they were. Sleeping beauty, a klutz, the Frog King and a guy who wasn’t able to lie. Ready to tear down the world…

There was only thing one thing Tony could do right now.

“Hey Clint, what’s your most perverted sexual phantasy?”


End file.
